taboo stories

Canadian Liquor Manufacturers

Canadian liquor manufacturers have accepted the Health
Canada's suggestion that the following warning labels
be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering
what the hell happened to your bra and panties.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think
you are whispering when you are not.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in
dancing like a retard.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell
your friends over and over again that you love them.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think
you can sing.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think
you can logically converse with members of the opposite
sex without spitting.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion
that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking
than most people.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think
people are laughing WITH you.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor
in getting your ass kicked.

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WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcohol may Mack you tink you
kan tpye reel gode.