What causes lost of desire
One cannot generalize as to why someone is experiencing
a low level of sexual desire. Loss of libido can have a variety
of causes, some psychological, some not.
Stress and fatigue
Perhaps the leading cause of lost sexual desire is stress
and fatigue. Most often, the condition is temporary and
returns when the stressful period ends, or the person is
able to get appropriate rest.
Anxiety
Sex can arouse a lot of anxiety in some people who are unsure
of the themselves or fear humiliation. For someone who
has never had sex or has had a bad experience with sex, the
anxiety level can be overwhelming. One may fear that they
will not be able to become aroused or excited and fail their
partner. Alternatively, one might fear the consequences
of sexual activity (pregnancy or STDs). Fear of the sexual
situation because of failure or negative consequences
can decrease their interest in sexual activity.
Estrangement from partner
One who is angry at their partner can express this frustration
through a lack of sexual desire. It may be difficult to engage
in sexual activity when unresolved conflicts continue
to loom. Any negative feelings towards your partner may
be incompatible with the prospect of sexual intimacy which
decreases your level of arousal.
Misdirected sexual desire
This phenomenon often occurs in the case of closeted
gay men and women. While actual sexual desire may be quite
high for members of their appropriate sexual orientation,
many people ashamed or insecure about their sexuality
will still force themselves to desire the wrong sex. Often
closeted individuals marry and have children while still
suffering from lack of sexual desire for their spouses.
Others may be disturbed by their fantasies or fetishes
and may wish to forget them by repressing their sexual desire.
Loss of erotic associations
The loss of libido can be a psychological process whereby
the brain systematically relabels stimuli which were
once erotic as non-erotic. Sexually appealing stimuli
in the environment are no longer associated with arousal.
With the help of a registered sex therapist, this psychological
condition can often be overcome.
Physiological causes
Not all the causes of low sexual desire are psychological
in nature. Low sexual desire in older men can be caused by
a low level of the hormone androgen. Hormonal deficiency
can sometimes be treated with hormone injections. Consult
your doctor or sex therapist for all the answers.
Anything that adversely affects your metabolism will
undoubtedly cause some lack of sexual desire. This may
include an accident, trauma or illness that causes a metabolic
disturbance.
Different drugs have different effects on sexual desire.
You should read the label or ask your doctor or pharmacist
about the effects of any pharmaceutical products on your
libido.
What can I do about loss of sexual desire?
If you have experienced loss of desire for only a short time,
it may take care of itself. Getting out of stressful or anxious
situations may also alleviate the condition. Try to think
about what the cause may be for you personally. It could
be your partner, your environment, or a number of other
factors listed above. If the loss of desire persists, ask
your doctor to refer you to a sex therapist who can help
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