sexual fantasies

Thoughts On Swinging

Several articles here recently have asked some good questions. I'd like to address a coule of them.

1. Why swing? For us it was to spice things up but mostly to do things we both had fantasized about that can only be done in multiple partner situations. Some one said that if there wasn't jealousy involved then you don't care about your partner. I say that is BS. We view it as giving each other greater pleasure and excitement. I never get jealous watching her get filled from behind since I'm usually getting the best head at the same time - or doing the same to some one else.

2. Condoms and birth control: I've had a vasectomy for 17 years. We only play with males that have one as well. Since we don't trust condoms for birth control we won't play if that is the only way. For her she can not take the pill for medical reasons. We are also very, very selective. In three years we have only played with three couples and one single male. Now we have played many, many times but with these few select people. We know we risk disease but that is our choice and our partners. YOU need to set your ground rules and then live by them. You also know your birth control issues so go by that.

3. Talking to your partner about swinging: I wrote an article that is still posted here about this (about a month ago). The basics are to get them talking about fantasies. From fantasies move to videos of their fantasies. Maybe bring up how you'd like to see them doing that with so and so or some one else. Play it by ear and tread lightly but you can at least get them to talk. If you can't then it is a dead issue or you'll end up with a partner that is just doing it to satisfy you. Coersion only works a little for a little while. That sows the seeds to the end of you relationship. Not good.

4. Language: This hasn't been brought up recently but if you plan to post a story here or an article at least run it through your word processor for a spell check. And if you can't string more than two words together in an intelligent sentence then please don't waste the time or space. :-)

5. Normal: Ain't no such thing so quit worrying about it! Just find kindred souls that like the kink you're into and do that voodoo you do so well - to paraphrase Mel Brooks (actually Harvey Corman).