Ashamed and confused by all-consuming fantasy
I'm a 25 year-old first year law student. I'm engaged to
a terrific guy. We've been in a monogomous relationship
for six years now. About three years ago I began fantasizing
about watching him have an intense sexual experience with
a phenominal-looking woman. I think about it all the time
and it's the most stimulating reoccuring thought I have.
The problem is I feel AWFUL about it. My fiance believes
in commitment and exclusivity. We have faught and faught
over this issue. He tells me he absolutely will not compromise
himself or our relationship. I feel I have a right to sexual
fulfillment. But honestly I feel like something is terribly
wrong with me to be begging the man I love to do such a thing.
I've tried to rid myself of the thought but cannot. This
week I found 3 aboslutely stunning-looking women who are
willing to participate in my proposal. I don't want to join
I simply want to watch. What do I do about these feelings
I'm having? Leaving him is out of the question because I
adore him. Cheating is equally out of the question. I want
to watch HIM. Are there any other women/men who have the
same fantasy? I'm not talking swinging because I don't
want to join. I feel out of control and desperate and selfish
and mentally diseased. Can anyone relate?
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