Sex positions that rock
Sexual desire is often the result of a complex interplay
of influences. The balance of these different factors
determines the frequency of the sexual encounters and
to some degree the intensity of the experience.
Hormones influence our sexual appetites. Their exact
effects are not completely understood. Out state of mind
also has a definite influence as well. Although genetics
and hereditary are thought to have an influence on libido,
there is insufficient evidence to support this.
Here we will consider briefly the physical and psychological
erogenous zones that turn on sexual desire in both the male
and the female.
Anatomy and sensitive zones
A woman knows herself, how she feels what she enjoys far
better than any outside person possibly could. By contrast
to other things in life everyone is an expert on sex, sexual
preferences, responses and needs especially if it is their
own
Men may often wonder about a woman's sexual reactions
and needs. Some of them can only be answered by the woman
herself. We would encourage men to discuss these issues
with their wife rather than mind reading. There are many
aspects of a woman's body that are sensitive to different
types of touch. The clitoris and the external structures
are usually the most sensitive.
There is a test you can do at home. Ask your wife if you can
touch her on the inside of the thigh with a pin. She will not
feel pain but will be aware of the pinprick sensation. It
will probably be the same for both thighs. As you bring the
pin close and closer to her genitals, the sensations will
be different
As the pin is touched to the labia majora, the hairy area
of the lips of the vagina, the pinprick sensation will be
slightly duller than on the inside of the thigh. If the pin
is touched to the inside of the small lips, the labia minora,
the vast majority of the women will not feel the sharpness
of the pin. Generally they are absolutely astonished to
find that the sensation is dull.
The inside of the vagina is even less sensitive. It registers
heat, warmth, stretch and constriction but the ability
of the vagina to perceive sensation is limited. In testing
for the sensitivity from the inner thigh to the inner genitals
there is a progressive decrease in feeling as you get closer
to the vagina.
An easy way of locating the clitoris is to start with the
minor lips or the labia minora surrounding the opening
to the vagina. At the top of the lips, the two sides join in
a V and blend right into the head of the clitoris. One fork
goes directly into the head of the clitoris and the other
extends to form the hood covering the clitoris. The clitoris
is especially very sensitive to stimulation.
In fact Freud had maintained that of the two types of orgasms
that woman could enjoy, (ie the clitoral orgasm and the
vaginal orgasm), the clitoral orgasm was the result of
infantile or immature sexuality. This spawned a whole
generation of women who went to have psycho-therapy so
that they could enjoy "mature" sexuality by
having vaginal orgasms. Current attitudes no longer consider
the above ideas as valid.
Generally the skin as a whole is sensitive to tactile stimulation.
Different individuals may experience different areas
as particularly sensitive and may respond appropriately.
Many women experience the breast and the nipples as being
particularly sensitive. Some women may even experience
orgasms from breast stimulation alone.
The ear lobes are richly supplied with nerve endings and
are another area of great sensitivity in both male and females.
Others enjoy anal stimulation of sorts. While in somecultures
and societies this is considered taboo, illegal or immoral
or even dirty, there are still some who consider anal stimulation
pleasurable.
It is important to observe rules of hygiene if anal stimulation
is considered as part of foreplay or as an main event itself.
That is, whatever areas of the anatomy are used to stimulate
the inner walls of the anal passage should be cleansed with
soap and water before being used again to stimulate the
vaginal walls. This is because the micro- organisms that
are found in the anus can if transplanted to the vagina,
cause severe infection like cystitis or vaginitis
The "G" Spot
The G-spot or Grafenberg's spot is an area within the
vagina that is thought to be particularly sensitive. It
is located a few centimetres inside the opening of the vagina,
behind the pubic bone and directly over the tube that leads
from the urinary bladder. Stimulation of this area manually
or with thrusting is reported to trigger orgasms and female
ejaculation.
Many researchers studying this area including Dr Theresa
Larsen Crenshaw, have performed anatomical and histological
studies that confirm that the Grafenberg's spot truly
exists and is not a mythological entity
It is difficult for a woman to touch the spot herself, but
her partner can easily reach it. If you wish to find it, the
procedure is as follows: Lie on your back and part your legs.
Tell your partner to insert his index finger into your vagina,
palms facing upwards almost as far in as it will go, curling
upwards. Guide him by your sensations. Let him explore
until he locates a spot that feels particularly good.
It is important to remember that this stimulation will
not feel sensational. It will be a pleasant, subtle feeling.
At a time of instant gratification and unrealisticexpectations,
it is useful to continue these explorations with an open
mind and minimal expectations. You may feel discomfort,
bladder pressure and the urge to urinate.
When he finds the Grafenberg's spot and massages the
area, he may find a swelling the size of an almond, growing
to three or four times that size. You may feel pleasant sensations.
Current investigations suggest that if this spot is stimulated
adequately, a woman will become orgasmic often again
and again . These orgasms are associated with a newly defined
phenomena called female ejaculation
Male Anatomy and sensitive zones
Males are generally sensitive in all of the areas mentioned
above excluding the portions that involve the internal
and external aspect of the female genitalia. The areas
that are unique to the males involve the male genitalia
as well as the prostrate reflex point. This can located
in the male in the fashion similar to that used to locate
the Grafenberg' Spot in the female via the anus. If
you want to locate it, the procedure is as follows: Lie on
your back and part your legs. Tell your partner to insert
her index finger into your anus, palms facing upwards almost
as far in as it will go, curling upwards. Guide her by your
sensations. Let her explore until she locates a spot that
feels particularly good. Constant stimulation using
gentle consistent pressure can intensify the sensations
of pleasure considerably. It will also initially make
you want to urinate It is advisable for the male to take an
enema before these explorations for obvious reasons of
hygiene.
You on top (Recreation)
When you take the role of Big-O CEO, it's up to you to
decide whether you want to have an orgasm via your clitoris
or G-spot - both are possible in this position. For the can't-miss
clitoral orgasm, lean your torso forward, arch your back,
and keep your crotch close to the base of his penis. Try using
a rocking motion to maneuver his manhood instead of ride-'em-cowboy
body bucking. You should feel the firmness of his pubic
bone pressing right against your big-O button. And don't
be afraid to pull him upright into your arms for a special
heart-to-heart moment.
You can also detonate a G-spot sexplosion by leaning back
and resting your weight on your hands while riding up and
down on his penis. "It may take a little practice,
but this on-top technique is a good way to trigger an internal
full-body G-spot orgasm, " says Lou Paget, author
of How to Be a Great Lover.
Bonus turn-on tip: Another impress-him maneuver is to
grip his penis and do a pelvic bump'n' grind..
To find your love muscles, stop the flow of urine and notice
which muscles flex. Do several sets of 10 hold-and-release
contractions of these muscles throughout the day and,
in a few weeks, you, too, will be able to give him a lap dance
like none other.
You sitting, Him standing (Recreation)
Doing it on a countertop - you're spread-eagled on
a table while your man faces you to thrust from the front
- creates megaheat in a minimal amount of time. He's
sure to come quickly because he plunges deep, says Anne
Hooper, author of The Great Sex Guide. "Plus, men
get off on the novelty of doing it somewhere new - to them,
out of the bedroom equals no-holds-barred sex, "
she adds.
You under him (Procreation)
And there's a reason it feels so effortless. Other
physical rewards to this coupling classic: nonstop kissing,
touching, and eye-gazing. This position has been likened
to a whole body massage - inside and out. Both partners can
also feel every part of the others body - it's extremely
erotic.
And don't mistake: Just because the missionary is
ordinary doesn't mean that it can't be extraordinary.
Put some swivel in your hips as he plunges in and out. That
way you can be an active participant, taking sexual control
of your vaginal sensations while you're on the bottom
instead of just receiving what he gives.
The downside of the missionary: Some women have trouble
climaxing because the clitoris just doesn't get hit
in the tried-and-true fit. Which brings us to...
Cat position (Procreation)
The magic making-it method is called the coital alignment
technique. "It's simple, " says Edward
Eichel, author of The Perfect Fit. "The man slides
two to four inches forward from the typical missionary
position, " he explains. "Rather than resting
on his elbows, his arms should cup your shoulders so his
body falls flat against yours, " Eichel says. "Both
of your spines should be straight." And the base of
his penis should naturally rub your clitoris.
The next step to coital climax involves some genital soft
rock. "Your legs should be straight out and touching
his while you push your pelvis upward about two inches, "
Eichel explains. "He should push down gently to give
a slight counter-resistance. There is no in-and-out -
it's an up-and-down rocking movement." But
since both sets of genitals are sharing such tight quarters,
it's extremely pleasurable for both of you. To bring
him in deeper, spread your inner thighs even wider and wrap
your ankles gently around his calves.
Doggy Style (Procreation)
Okay. You've probably heard of the G-spot but might
not know what it is, where it is, or how to get at it. "Your
G-spot is a quarter-size supersensitive area behind the
front wall of your vagina, about one-half to two-thirds
of the way in, " says Barbara Keesling, Ph.D., author
of Super Sexual Orgasm. And a little firm, well-placed
stroking of this pleasure place can open up a whole new orgasmic
world.
But not just any position will do the G-spot job: For his
penis to hit your hidden hot spot, your vagina has to be precisely
angled. And doggy-style penetration fits the hit-the-spot
bill perfectly, as some women will swear to. Nor is this
a ho-hum pose for the man. Plus, there's something
very primal about banging from behind that brings out the
animal in even the most mild-mannered guy.
If you haven't discovered your G-spot (keep looking!)
or if you're a big fan of clitoral tingles, coax his
fingers to do some walking. "Your lover can easily
rub your clitoris while he's thrusting, " Keesling
encourages. He can also caress the nape of your neck, your
breasts, or wherever else you like."
Side by side (Procreation)
Consider it a horny holding pattern. "There's
not a whole lot of motion - that's why it delays climax, "
says author Paget. But it's perfect for erotic embraces
and intimate eye contact. "A couple can feel very
close when they're facing each other in this position, "
agrees Nitya Lacroix, author of The Art of Tantric Sex.
It's this kind of incredible emotional ecstasy that
makes you laugh, cry, and come all at the same time.
To up the intensity, get into a gentle pelvic rhythm (so
he doesn't go soft on you) and look into each other's
eyes while taking natural, deep breaths.
Sex positions that can increase or decrease your chances
of conception.
Many experts suspect that the missionary position (man
on top) affords the best opportunity for baby-making,
though no definitive studies have been done on this question.
This position allows for the deepest penetration and,
as a result, places sperm closer to the cervix. For additional
effectiveness, the woman can try elevating her hips with
a pillow so her cervix is exposed to the maximum amount of
semen. For the readers convenience, all the essential
positions that facilitate conception are labeled Procreation)
Other possibilities (in case you get bored):
Rear-entry, when the man enters the woman from behind,
either lying down or kneeling, can also deposit sperm close
to the cervix and aid conception.
Lying side-by-side this can be a relaxing position (great
for promoting good sex) and easier on a partner who is overweight
or has a bad back can also help with conception.
Some clinicians also believe that a woman can further increase
the likelihood of conception by remaining in bed for up
to half an hour following intercourse, preferably on her
back and, again, with a pillow under her pelvic region.
In theory, this provides the sperm with additional travel
time up to the Fallopian tube along with help from the forces
of gravity. For women predisposed to getting urinary tract
infections and advised to go to the bathroom immediately
after intercourse, this is obviously not the best option.
And finally there is the issue of orgasm. His is an absolute
necessity for conception, and now new research shows hers
may play a role, too. The contractions that accompany the
female orgasm may help carry sperm further into the cervix.
What are the worst sexual positions for conception?
Experts recommend that you avoid having sex while sitting,
standing, or with the female on top. These positions defy
gravity and may discourage the upward mobility of sperm.
For the readers convenience, all the positions that do
not facilitate conception are labeled (Recreation).
Suggestions:
Read these ideas together with your partner
Practice these ideas with your partner
Talk with your partner about what was exciting and scary
about trying a new position
Remember the key to these positions, besides having
fun, is they help you develop trust between you and your
partner. To follow these directions and discover ideas
together takes practice and a good deal of cooperation.
Through the practice of these games, you may even learn
something about your partner and yourself.
Sexual Positions *Ideal for new couples first starting
to have intercourse*
Missionary Position :In the missionary position, the
person with a penis is on top and assumes the dominant role.
The other person who is on bottom assumes the passive role.
(Each person is lying down, stomach-stomach, face-to-face.
Most people may be able to remember using this position
the first time they had sex or in their early days of sexual
experimentation.) It is one of the tried and true methods
for intercourse. Unfortunately, this position gets a
lot of bad press. It is considered 'gendered and old-fashioned".
I believe this is a great position. The person on top has
a lot of control over the degree of stimulation that they
get and the person on bottom can easily increase their sexual
pleasure by masturbating while simultaneously having
intercourse. If the partner on top is especially coordinated,
she/he could also help masturbate the person on bottom.
Some of the techniques used to create an intimate environment
are eye-to-eye contact, guiding your partners hip movements
with your hands, massaging your partner's neck/back,
nibbling the other person's ears, necks or lips. And
of course, whispering something that only your partner
can understand.
Sexual Positions *For the creative couple who want a new
sensation*
A slightly more technically advanced position, than the
basic missionary position . . . for the adventuresome couple
only. The person on bottom and the person on top switch leg
positions. The person on bottom closes their legs (in the
missionary position, the legs straddle (the person on
top)). The person on top straddles the legs of the person
on bottom. Visually, at least in my mind, it looks as if the
person on top is doing a wide-legged push up. The benefit
of this position is simple: for the person on top, additional
stimulation to the penis/dildo and for the person on bottom,
additional sensations on the inner thighs. Caution: the
top position is (for a top that desires) a good physical
workout. Expect to sweat.
Sexual Positions *Ideal for a heavy-set couple*
A variation on the missionary position: The passive person
sits on the edge of a chair or bed, and the person with a penis
kneels in front of them. The person kneeling then uses his/her
or hips to thrust. Neither person is putting weight onto
the other person. As the person thrusting is perpendicular,
his or her weight is used more efficiently. Sex is exercise
and does burn calories. While this position requires a
bit more co-ordination than the missionary position,
it is often considered less intimate. Face-to-face contact,
and whispering become less natural when not facing one
another. However, this position does allow for great foreplay.
The person with the penis/dildo is in an excellent position
to explore their partner's genitals with their eyes,
hands or mouth.
Sexual Positions *For the advanced, bored and/or uninhibited
couple*
Instead of assuming the missionary position, where the
couple is head-to-head and toe-to-toe, one person should
reverse their position, so that the two of you will now be
head-to-toe and toe-to-head. Again, the difference between
this position and the missionary position is that this
time, the partners face the opposite direction of each
other. Each person has a view of the other person's
feet. Make sure your feet smell good! The angle of entry
is different and often will require verbal communication.
To make this work, the person on bottom will need to arch
her/his pelvic area (back flat against the ground) and
communication between the two of you will need to be stellar.
The angle of entry is very different than what most couples
are used to. I strongly suggest that the woman help guide
the penis with her hand into the correct position. This
is a great position for couples who want to try something
new, and are prepared to make fools of themselves and be
comfortable laughing about how hard this position makes
lovemaking.
P.S. while each of you are now facing each other's clean
toes, why not have a nibble? Some people love a nibble. Sucking
toes and massaging the insoles adds an extra stimulation
which can be very arousing.
Sexual Positions *For a woman who wants to have intercourse
for the first time*
Woman on top is recommended for women who are having sex
for the first time because it puts them in control of the
situation. The woman is in a position to engulf the penis
at her own rate of comfort. Of course the other person has
some control of the situation too because they are constantly
talking/sharing feelings throughout this whole experience.
In this position, the person on bottom should tilt her or
his hips, back flat on the ground. This allows for an angle
that often many women enjoy. In this position, the person
on top often lies atop with her legs stretched out or bent.
Sometimes, she may sit straight up and slide up and down.
Many women report that they really like this position because
of the added genital stimulation (the vulva rubs up against
the person on bottom's pelvic bone). In addition,
men (again, if they are coordinated) can stimulate their
partner's vulva (and/or breasts and/or other body
parts) with their hands or women could masturbate themselves
while having intercourse. Many people on bottom find this
particularly pleasurable because of the added visual
stimulation of seeing her breast. For a woman who appears
self-conscious, I recommend telling the woman how much
you are enjoying the way she moves, and how good it feels.
This may help her relax. As she relaxes, she may start to
enjoy herself more. Actually, this tip goes to all people.
Positive reinforcement of pleasurable sensations/movements
is a good way to encourage your partner to continue whatever
she/he is doing.
Sexual Positions *For the couple who prefers to sit*
This position is for those people who enjoy slow motion
sex. The angle for intercourse is not conducive to vigorous
thrusting. Position the person with the /penis sits cross-legged
on the floor. The woman sits on top of him, with her legs straddled
around him. They are sitting face-to-face. This creates
a perfect opportunity to hug for a few minutes and be intimate.
Be careful that you do not fall over! Sitting on top of each
other and maintaining stability is a formidable task for
most people. Some people prefer facing the same direction.
This is preferable for those who feel less coordinated
or embarrassed. You do not have to face the other person.
But hey, if you can not laugh about sex with your partner,
are you ready to be doing what you are doing with them? Sex
is funny. Great chairs include rocking chairs, kitchen
table chairs and, of course, the chair in the office. Sex
on a chair makes for a good study-break.
Sexual Positions *For the coordinated couple in a rush*
A true quickie, for the super coordinated couple-- try
standing and having sex. In the ideal world, both people
would be of similar heights, or one person could be strong
enough to lift the other person to reach the right level.
Women need to tilt their pelvic, so that the vagina is forward,
and easier to access. The person with a penis either need
to squat a bit or have the woman be on a small stool. However,
if the woman is taller, then her partner may need to stand
on the small stool. This type of intercourse seems to work
well on staircases in an office building, down a dark alley,
in the middle of a graveyard and other such forbidden places.
I highly recommend at least one person wearing a skirt or
some other such clothing, which will allow for easy access.
Sexual Positions * For the uncoordinated couple in a rush*
The woman puts her hands on a chair, desk, couch or wall,
leans forward, butt into the air. The person with a penis
penetrates her from behind. The woman will need to tilt
her pelvic region to easy the entry of the dildo/penis into
her vagina. The person from behind can controls the frequency
of the thrusting. To help steady him, he/she can hold onto
her butt/hips and thrust. Often couples enjoy hard thrusting.
This position is much easier to achieve than the standard
face-to-face position. This position is great because
in addition to intercourse, it allows the person from behind
to massage the woman's breasts, give big hugs and even
manually stimulate her vagina with his/her hands. This
position can also work well in a stairwell, in an office
setting or in a graveyard. It is easy to use this position
to have a 'quickie'.
Sexual Positions *For the pregnant woman*
This position, side-by-side is recommended for the person
who is pregnant, or the couple who is sick of fighting about
whose turn it is to go on top or bottom. In this position,
the couple spoons together. This position can be very intimate.
Many people report that it is a natural feeling to hug the
other person and feel protected. In fact, some people find
this position so relaxing that after intercourse, they
fall asleep in this position. Ok, but how does this position
actually work? Generally, the person with a penis is in
back, but it could be done the other way around. When the
woman is in front, to make her vagina easily accessible
for penetration should tilt her pelvis back and stomach
forward. The person from behind slides his penis/dildo
in from behind. This, position is like the doggie-styled
position, except that both people are lying down.
Now that you know some cool moves, remember the key to success
is communication coupled with a bit of variation. Sex,
like dancing, if always done the same way, can get boring.
If you normally prefer to have sex in the morning, try having
sex at night. If you normally have sex on the bottom, try
standing up. If you like to have sex in bed, go hot tubbing
and have sex in the hot tub. Change whatever you are doing.
Catch your partner by surprise. The most boring thing in
the world is if you can predict what your partner will do.
If you find yourself never initiating sex, initiate it
4 times in one day. If you find yourself always instigating
sex, then stop for two weeks and see how your partner reacts
to changing her/his role. For that matter, if you always
begin being sexually intimate by kissing first, play with
her/his toes first. If you normally start touching the
genital area, start by giving a backrub, which will turn
into a front rub. Change is the most critical part here.
Anything different is an improvement. For example:
Blindfold and tie one person's hands together.
Then ask the person without use of their hands or eyes to
explore your body.
Use foods, such as strawberries, whipped cream, chocolate
or honey and spread them out over each other's body.
Create a romantic atmosphere in the bathroom (candles,
music, and bubbles) and take a long luxurious bath. Wash
each other from head to toe. After both of you are thoroughly
relaxed and cleansed, start touching each other with your
lips. Begin by sucking on each other's right toes and
work you way all the way up to the left tip of their right finger.
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